Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:6I am a black and white kind of thinker. I like things all neat and tidy in their separate categories, everything fitting nicely within the confines of their own identity. My personality and thought styles did well with the legalistic religious upbringing I had. Christianity was simple- just do the right thing. Knowing the right thing wasn't hard because it was whatever the church said it was. Salvation was simple- do what you're supposed to and you go to heaven: do what you're not supposed to and you go to hell.
In my adulthood, moving across the nation brought me to a different church with different teaching. A preaching series in Romans validated my security in my salvation as a believer. I no longer live in fear of dying and going to hell for sins I hadn't had time to repent of. I began to understand grace in it's true form, within the workings of the church the way it is supposed to be. After all, Jesus didn't come to condemn the world, so why should the church? (John 3:17)
Life is messy. Life circumstances don't always fit into the neat little box that I'd like them to. So what happens when things are no longer black and white, but various shades of gray? What are we, as Christians, supposed to do when we have no clear answers?
Pray
We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives. Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed... We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:1-3, 9Prayer aligns our hearts with God in ways that we simply cannot understand. Honest, heartfelt conversation with the Lord is crucial when we are seeking guidance. Be open to the Holy Spirit, and be prepared for God to guide you in a direction that you weren't expecting.
Read the Word
For the Word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the One to whom we are accountable. Hebrews 4:12-13If you're not familiar with the Bible, don't let it intimidate you from digging into the wealth of knowledge and wisdom within it's pages. If you're ready to start reading the Word daily, I would suggest starting with the book of John. If you're looking for more specific readings, try a topical Bible or search the concordance in the back of your Bible for verses that contain key words.
If you're comfortable with technology, you can search the internet for Bible verses related to a specific topic. There are also Bible apps that have Bible reading plans and daily devotions that are user-friendly and can be put on a smartphone or tablet for easy access.
A word of caution about topical studies- sometimes Bible verses can be taken out of context. When this happens, they can lose their original meaning. Some authors and religions do this in order to make the Bible appear to agree with the agenda they are pushing. Always read a verse, reread it with the scripture surrounding it, and then consider the following: WHO (who was the author and who were they writing to), WHAT (what were they trying to say), WHEN (when did they write it) and WHY (why were they writing). Keep in mind that the Bible never contradicts itself, so if you come across interpretations that disagree with other scripture, that particular teaching is probably incorrect.
Seek Wise Counsel
Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life. Proverbs 19:20For me, there is great comfort in knowing that someone else has already walked the road I am on, and that they have come out the other side stronger and more faithful. If you happen to come across someone who has experienced your current circumstances and they are willing to listen to you and speak wisdom into your life, take advantage of the opportunity. Wise counsel is priceless, and good counsel is hard to find.
Seek out elders or leaders in your church who might have experience or knowledge about your situation. Be transparent and honest, and recognize that their time is valuable. If they are willing to help you, don't take it for granted.
Keep in mind that no one is perfect, and everyone has bad days. Take the advice and counsel you receive to heart, bring it to the Lord in prayer, and keep it in mind while reading the Word. If the things you are hearing from these people do not align with what you believe to be right or true, respectfully have a conversation with them about it. Even leaders within the same church can disagree about sticky topics or situations. Don't hop from person to person until you find someone who agrees with you, but seek the truth with all your heart, and God will honor your endeavors.
Only You Can Decide
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. James 1:5-8Once you have sought the Lord through prayer and Bible reading, and received wise counsel from trusted advisers, then it is up to you to decide what is right. No one else can make decisions for you. If in your heart, you feel that something is right or wrong, then to you it is. (Romans 14:22-23)
No one else can live your life for you. Ultimately you will be the one answering for your belief systems and your choices, so you need to be sure that you are comfortable with whatever choices you make. Gray areas are scary for black and white thinkers like me, but with God on our side we can be confident that He is with us every step of the way.
You guide me with Your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but You? I desire You more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever. Psalm 73:24-26