The "S" Word: Biblical Submission- Everything you Wished You'd Known Before Marriage

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of His body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything... So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. -Ephesians 5:21-24, 33

For years, the concept of submission to my husband was on the back burner of my mind. I knew the Bible talked about submission, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't like what it had to say- so I avoided it. My church avoided it, too. I grew up in the church, but had never been taught what submission is or what it is supposed to look like.

It seems that the "S" word can be a topic of division and dissension. As a woman who is proud of her ability to be strong and independent, I can see why. We live in a society that applauds individuals who push boundaries and question authority. As sinful beings, we want our way and we want it now. Women's rights have catapulted us into a culture where the roles of men and women are muddied and confused. What God had arranged to be the very reflection of Himself has been contorted into a hidden sexist agenda that I'm sure has been a work of Satan since the beginning of time.

We can ignore it and deny it until we are blue in the face, but the fact is that the Bible clearly outlines His design for structure and order within the church and the family. When we go against God's design and intention for our lives, it never works out well. So as much as I'd like to pretend that I'm not called to submission, as a follower of God and a seeker of Truth, I can't ignore it or deny it. I would, however, like to share with you what I have learned about submission as I've explored what it is and how it can be applied to our daily lives.

What does Submission Look Like?

The submission of Christian wives to their husbands is a powerful and beautiful picture of the Son's submission to His Father and of the church's submission to Christ. These wives, together with husbands who love them selflessly and sacrificially, put the gospel story on vivid and compelling display. -Nancy DeMoss Woglemuth, Adorned

Submission is allowing your husband the God-given privilege of being the head of your family. He should make the final decision on all matters, and as his wife it is our job to support him in these decisions. This does NOT mean that we wives are to be doormats and to complacently follow him around like a puppy dog and it's master. What this DOES mean is that we provide input and insight into matters (in a respectful, godly manner) and trust the Holy Spirit to lead him to the right decision.

For a wife, submission means accepting God's good order for her life, just as a husband submits himself to God in accepting God's order for his life. And it gives her the privilege of representing the mystery and the beauty of the Son's submission to the Father... These wives, together with husbands who love them selflessly and sacrificially, put the gospel story on vivid and compelling display. -Nancy DeMoss Woglemuth, Adorned

Why is Submission so Scary?

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. -1 Peter 3:1-2

One of the biggest issues women have with submission is a loss of control. I don't know about you, but control is one thing I have a hard time letting go of. As a single person, we face the struggle of giving God control of our lives. When we marry, this struggle is further complicated by the addition of our husband. God still remains in control of our lives, but the addition of another imperfect, sinful person makes the difficulty of relinquishing control much harder.

Another issue women have with submission is a lack of trust. Not only are we placing trust in our husbands to lead our family in a godly way, but we are also trusting God's design and sovereignty for our lives. When we don't agree with the decision that our husband makes, it can be difficult to trust and support him. However, when we trust and support our husbands, we are ultimately placing our trust and support in God.

Giving up control and trusting that God knows what He is doing is especially difficult when our husbands are not walking in their faith the way we think they should. It is easy to see their faults and their failures and form our opinions of what they should and shouldn't be doing. Remember, friends, that God has placed our husbands in this position of authority, and it is our husbands who will answer for their leadership or lack thereof. As long as our husband's decisions are not leading us into sin, we are to love and support him, even though we may disagree with his choices.

If You're Not Married

If you aren't yet married, take some time to consider what kind of man would make a good leader of your family. If you have someone in mind, can you see him leading you well? Does he have a close walk of faith with the Lord? Is he open to the leading of the Holy Spirit? Does he love you selflessly and sacrificially? Consider these things before you say, "I do," and it might save you heartache in the future.

Stay tuned for Part II on Biblical Submission- When Sin Skews God's Design

*Work Cited: Woglemuth, Nancy DeMoss. Adorned. Chicago: Moody Publishers. 2017.